I'm writing this from my bedroom, sitting on my bed. But I'm in my other bedroom, on my other bed, in Spain. I arrived the 13th and I haven't really had a moment since then to actually sit down and write abut the last days that I spent in the US. I'm going to try my best but can't promise that this would be a great post, anyway, I hope you enjoy it.
My last week in Indiana was sad, really sad. I had never experienced that kind of sadness until that very moment. There's nothing you can do or someone can do to make it better. You feel so lost, because nothing is the same everything has changed and now everything is going to change again and you are not ready. I was not ready to let go the best year of my life, I wasn't. Even when I tried to enjoy every day I had left, it was so hard to sleep at night, I could only think about how much I was going to miss everything and everyone. And I said goodbye.
I said goodbye to Elizabeth.
I said goodbye to Lexi.
I said goodbye to Sammi.
I said goodbye to Annie.
I said goodbye.
Elizabeth came one morning to my house before practice to say bye, we just chatted as usual and enjoy a little bit of time together, I'm so glad I got to meet her. She's one of the sweetest people in the world and I'm so happy that I got to spend time wih her because we hanged out together with Paige. She has being such a good friend and I'm already missing her so so so much. I wish we had had more time together.
Lexi came after Elizabeth with Sammi and I just could not hold my tears. She has been such an amazing friend to me. Playing with her in band was so much fun and she always was there in my low moments with something nice to say. We have laughed so much together and I'm going to miss playing piccolo with her or switch instruments or just chat all the time.
Annie came the same day but in the afternoon, we went rock climbing and after that she took me out for dinnner with her parents. Annie has been one of the reasons of why I had so much fun at band, she is such an amazing flute player and playing together is such a fun thing to do. I'm already missing her and I know that she will do great in Canada. She is one of the best friends I've made this year and saying bye to her made it so real. That last hug we shared broke my heart. I'm never going to be able to find someone I feel more happy playing with or someone with the same sense of humor. I'm never going to forget all the food we ate behind the stand during orchestra rehearsal or all the times we've just talked forever.
There are so many things I would like to tell them but I've decided to make this goodbyes smaller in the blog. All of them have meant so much to me and they will always have a little bit of my heart.
The next day I went downtown with Erin, Lorenzo, Andrew and Kellie. Spending days downtown was one of my fave things to do with them so it was logic that our last day together was spent there. We walked around and had lunch at the city market. After that we walked around a little bit all together and went to the city circle where there was like a little milk fair or something happening. They even had a cow! And we took a picture. Andrew had the idea of going to the State House after we were out of there and I have to say it was amazing!
We got hom and it was the moment to say bye. How do you say bye to the first friends you made? I remember when I arrived in Indiana, Erin introduced me to them and all of them always invited me to join them in whatever they were doing and opened their hearts to me even when they knew I would eventually leave. I don't have enough words to thank them for everything but I'll always cheerish our memories together and I know that our snapchat streaks will only go up.
Andrew, Lorenzo, Kellie. I don't have words, and because I knew this would happen I wrote those letters to you as well as the ones for Donovan, Cameron and Braenden because you've been a huge part in my life this year and you will always be. Thank you for everything and thank you for making me part of the squad. Thank you for being th greatest people ever and the best friends in the world.
That night Braeden came, Cheyenne and Josh came and I was still packing. Josh came as akward as he always is and said to keep in touch and gave me a big hug. And Cheyenne... well she has being the friend I never thought I would be able to find in this little time, she has listened to me and we've shared so many things, I can not even explain how much I miss her already. She has being like a sister to me and I know my Stitch is in great hands.
The next day I said bye to Lorrie and Ann, no words, and I said goodbye to the place that has been home for me and that will always be my second home. I was happy because we were going to Colorado but I can not describe how hard was to hold my tears in the car as we were driving away from home.
In Colorado we were in this huge house with all the family, I hared room with Erin and Sara and it was just so perfect that I could not believe I was leaving in two days, two!
Anyway, we went to Mesa Verde National Park and to Four Corners the first day and the second on a train ride.
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Both of those days were just fantastic, I had so much fun and I just felt so amazed by everything. It was a good way to say bye, if there is a good one.
And the day arrived. How can a year go by so fast? I still can not believe that I am back in Spain writing this, it was not supossed to happen this way. It was too fast and too soon. It seemed like I had lived my whole life there and at the same time like I had just arrived. I am never going to be able to express and even when now people ask me I don't know what to answer, what can I tell them about my year abroad? Tell them about how now I have another family in the other side of the world and that even when I am happy because I'm back, I'm crying because I had to leave them. My host family has been the most amazing family, they have loved me and accepted me like one of them and my heart aches when I think about the time that is going to have to pass until I am able to hug them again. I have no words to thank them, for making me the happiest person in this world during this year. I love them so much and everyday I wake up thinking that I'll go downstairs and they'll be there but they are not. And with this comes the fear, fear that they will forget about me and one day this will just be a memory for them. I know it'a stupid, because they will always be my family but... I've loved every second with all of them and I already miss Meika jumping on me everyday, hanging out with Erin and Sara and just being home with our parents. The last time I hug them was heartbreaking, it is the saddest moment of my life and I cried so much. They have being my family and they will always be. The moment I had to go through security and say goodbye to them my heart broke and I know that I left half of it with them. I'm never going to forget about any of the moments we spent together. The first flight is just a blank space in my mind, the only thing I did for those hours was cry and cry.
No one told me I would find a home, no one said I would find two sisters and a mom and a dad there. No one said anything. It's painful to be away and it feels like there's a hole in my heart that would only dissappear once we are all together again. I miss them everyday and even when it's hard every second of it is worth it because of the year I spent with them.
I love them so much.
And with this, I want to say bye. To all of the people that has helped me to have the best year of my life in the USA, thank you, you've changed my life.
This is not the end, I'll be back Indiana.
Bye USA, thanks for everything.
"How lucky I am to have something so good that makes leaving so hard"
